Hello. First, I believe it would be best to address the elephant in the room; the lack of posts.
I feel it is vital that I apologise to my regular readership (google bot and auto redirects from other people’s blogs) for that lack of updates. I’ve been unable to draw, being that my iPad has gone and got itself sold, but that does not excuse my lack of regular posts.
Now, to the purpose of this post. I mentioned in a while ago that I spent a lot of time at school being told I was special, which I in turned believed, resulting in an acute case of lazy bastard. You may also remember that I was broken out of it this mindset when an old teacher actually called me out on it.
That’s the recap of the last episode complete.
Self deprecation has become a defence mechanism for my ego. If I become complacent in my abilities in any area, I stop trying. It’s worse than that in fact; I don’t stop trying in the purview of the subject to which I have become complacent, I stop altogether.
Allowing my super ego to dwell in a stronger foothold in my mind means that I’m less likely to become the lazy bastard that I was before. Becoming that person again is one of the few things that genuinely scares me.