Archive for the ‘ Random ’ Category

Bad Sportsmanship

It may come as a surprise to my readers to know that I am not well equipped, in terms of knowledge, when it comes to sport.

Yes, I vaguely understand that all sports are based on the notion that someone has to lose. Whether this means acquiring more scores than the other team, or just being the person who shouts the loudest for no discernible reason; it’s all the same to me, which is to say, unattractive.

This is quit strange for a number of reasons which I will not be putting in the following bullet point list (okay I lied)

  • I’m not a particularly inactive person
  • I’m not averse to physical activity
  • I enjoy competition via games

I think on this particular point it’s best just it say “it’s not for me” and put it to rest. Unfortunately I’m not a great fan of doing what is best, and shall press forward.

I can generally see why people enjoy participating in sport; I imagine scoring that winning tri in cricket is much the same feeling as winning the game for your team on [popular video game]. What I don’t understand is people’s ability to watch others playing sport.

Now, once more I feel it is important to note that I am not being disingenuous when I say that i am in no way claiming that those who enjoy watching sport are somehow deficient. If anything I get the sneaking suspicion (as I often do) that it is I whom is some how lacking. Perhaps there is some kind of hormone that allows one to take excitement from other people’s activities.

I just don’t seem to get that second hand thrill that others find so readily available. Which, I’ll be honest, leaves me feeling a little like that kid who never joined in with the fads, you know the one; too much nose, not enough chin, spent too much time with his hand down his pants.

Perhaps it is my urge to be doing something* that robs me of this pleasure. If only watching someone else doing something would suffice.

I consider this now because a memory surfaced from my childhood (don’t worry uncle Bernard, I’m still repressing those memories), of my father asking me if I would go to a football match with him. At the time I was 7 and did not understand the concept of bonding, or if I did, I didn’t understand how they applied to me, and so declined my fathers offer with more than a sufficient amount of disdain.

Remembering this decision genuinely turns my stomach; I don’t remember how my Dad looked afterwards, but I can very well imagine how he would have felt (knowing my father, hunger was probably in there somewhere**). So…

I think I’ve just written this pointless essay as some form of atonement for being a completely disinterested and disinteresting son. No doubt I’ll be doing the same in a future post, atoning for being a disinterested and disinteresting father.

That’s called progress.

*not necessarily something useful, pertinent, or legal.

**Some people may consider this a fat joke. I envy those people.


Shed pounds quickly and easily!

There, that should get me a few views.

And for the record, losing weight is never easy or quick. It’s hard work that most people only manage when their circumstances require them to become more active.


If you’d have asked me 6 months a go about anything to do with photoshop I would have said “Back the hell off creep, I’m not your photoshop guy”, before likely head-butting your nose and jumping through the nearest window. There are two reasons for that.

  • I wasn’t very good with photoshop.
  • I wasn’t on the correct dosage at the time.
In the last 6 months I have gone from despising the idea of using photoshop to… Well, still not being ecstatic about it, but much less likely to damage your philtrum (and not just because of my change in perscription)

A number of months ago I was fortunate enough to be given the chance to redesign the game menus for a remake of a game from a popular old school franchise. Obviously I jumped at the chance of getting anywhere near the Game Development Industry (caps are necessary), and got straight to work on some concepts. It took me three days and surprisingly little sleep to complete the concepts, concepts which I was very proud of.

I sent them over the intertubes with a hint of trepidation; obviously I wanted the job more than I wanted the voices to stop, however, getting that job meant more photoshop work; much more. Over the days it took for a reply to form within my inbox I had convinced myself that my abject lack of talent had been just as apparent as I imagined it was and, upon receipt of my precious concepts my prospective employers had all caught Lack of Talent from them and died.

This was not the case.

The reply said they liked them and they would like to contract me to make them function in game as flash menus (to be mounted into the engine using witchcraft I think). Needless to say I panicked.

When I panic I tend to do so very quietly and all to myself; as if a little voice says “oh no”, and everything starts getting messy in my head. In the process of attempting to clean out this brain filth I decided my only possible solution was to learn myself some photoshop. Which I didn’t.

Not long afterwards (only two months) it came time for me to make good on my contract and start making some pretty menus. The work that I had promised to do was on the very limit of what I thought I would be capable of if I had actually bothered to learn how to use the package, so as you can imagine there were a large number of “oh no”s going on.

Good news next though because, after spending a number of months making these menus one at a time, day and night, finding a tutorial for everything I didn’t know how to do, and endlessly experimenting for everything I needed to do that didn’t have a tutorial, I began handing in what I had made. This was done quit unceremoniously; like a small child handing in a battered page of scribbles and calling it homework. I genuinely refused to read my e-mails for several days afterwards for fear that the e-mail would be so venomous that its hate would leak onto all my other e-mails, creating some kind of evil rejection slurry.

This was not the case.


It is my fervent, desperate hope that no one figures out that my low opinion of my own abilities isn’t just down to an inferiority complex. If that never happens, I may just be able to carve out a niche for my self in this industry we call Games.

Or not.

Common decency has you believe that I should use this “first post” in order to welcome people to my blog and, potentially, give you reasons to keep coming back. A tough job when clearly I am not at all impartial in matters pertaining to this blog; I want you to read it whether it is any good or not.

Therefore I have decided that, if this blog ever does get anything even remotely resembling followers, it shall be all the more sweeter if I lay my cards on the table straight away and let everyone know why they shouldn’t read my blog. The first ones that come to mind are listed below:

  • Everything I find interesting is boring to everyone else.
  • I am annoyingly precocious, pedantic, hypocritical, and prone to random changes of heart without warning.
  • I will be writing about Flash development, Game Design, Psychology, and anything else that I think is interesting (see first point)
  • I feel it is appropriate to use bullet points in a blog post.
There. Anyone who remains on this page, still reading this drivel is committed; you have to keep reading because if you were to stop you would have wasted your time thus far. If you want to continue not wasting your time click the little RSS feed button and I will nobly endeavour to ensure your time is well spent.